ADD Tank

So last night, I thoroughly embarrassed myself in a Vault of Archavon 10-man run.

How does one mess up VoA? You might ask yourself this, snorting with derision at this poster's evident noobishness.

Take the following-

2 Geared and Experienced Healers
1 Not So Geared and Less Experienced Healer
2 Geared and Experienced DPS
1 Less Geared but Experienced DPS (alts)
1 Not So Geared and Less Experienced DPS (a rogue pulling 700 DPS...)
1 AFK Boomkin

And then add-

2 Brand Spanking New Tanks
-1 just specced DK tank and reached Def cap, but is unable to be on Vent
-1 ADD Spaz-o-Tron chirping frantically, "OH GOD I'VE ONLY EVER HEALED THIS, WHAT DOES IT EVEN LOOK LIKE BESIDES FLOATY GREEN BAARRRRS AND MOVE OUT OF THE ROCK SHARDS STUPID?!"

I volunteered to tank before even realizing what I was doing. "Anyone want in on a VoA run?" "Huh? Sure, but I'm tank specced!" /raid invite

Our new DK tank was primarily our Disc priest, and had -just- hit Def cap; she gets an invite too, and suddenly I find myself with a raid group depending on the both of us keep them alive. I consult with another DK tank friend over Vent, and he tells me all about how the big boss uses the MT to bash the entire raid, and someone's gotta be an OT, so, not really wanting to leave that job to the brand new DK, I cheerfully post in raid- "Okay, (tank), go pull!"

To which she responds, "I'm tanking??"

So she pulls. And I promptly steal aggro like an aggro whoring fiend. I'm all over that mob- I saw his attention briefly flash to the shaman, HIT THE TAUNT BUTTON THE DK ISN'T ON IT OMG WTF.

D'oh. Bad tankadin. BAD. No cookie for me. I apologize for stealing the new DK tank's thunder, and vow to myself to back off next time. I get assured that I'll be needed when the mob does the knockback anyway.

The next mob, I back off. I auto-swing and lay down a consecrate. I do NOT steal the MT's aggro.

He smears the ele shammy into a thin paste, and I taunt.

Res the shammy, do another (smoother) trash pull where I don't steal aggro (until I'm supposed to,) and the Boomkin still isn't back.

Now it's time for the boss. And we decide to 9-man it, because we don't feel like waiting for AFK chicken.

DK has a HELL of a time keeping aggro; the two best DPS get smeared. I keep auto-swinging, trying not to generate too much threat- and then it is MY TIME TO SHINE! He picks up the MT, begins to smash everyone with her, and I'm so excited, I hit the taunt just a second too late- rogue almost bites it. But the healers are made of win.

The MT gets put back down, the fight continues. I'm watching who this boss is focusing on, I'm not letting THAT happen again- and I see his attention shift to a healer, I panic, I hit the TAUNT HE IS MINE RAW- oh shit, that was just rock shards.

Well, I'm tanking him now- shield of righteous, play my rotation again. The DK taunts him off me, but I've got too much aggro. Now he's picking ME up and smacking miss DK around like the fish slapping skit in Monty Python.

This continues for a while; I was a good girl, and mostly resisted taunting when I saw him target someone else- ROCK SHARDS, D'oh- which ends up resulting in more death. The DPS all. Die. One. By. One. The healers all die. Suddenly, I'm there alone for about three seconds before I'm a paladin shaped smear on the ground.

Okay, so we're not nine manning this one.

And the DK wasn't in Frost Presence.

*facedesk*

FINE. We PuG a fury warrior, and it takes forever for him to get there. Buff up, DK puts on frost presence and apologizes, and it's off for round two.

This one goes smoother, but I -know- I can be faster on the pick-up. I felt absolutely embarassed when the boss got three hits in on the Ele shammy after picking up the DK. I was distracted by a thought in my head, and I didn't pick up anywhere NEAR as fast as I should've. Stupid, stupid, stupid. BAD tank! NO ADD! Grrr!

Anyway, we finally get him down... and he drops...

Hunter and mage gear.

Yay shards.