HoL : Alcoholism waiting to happen

So this weekend was a no raid weekend, due to this silly holiday that means people want to do things like spend time with 'family' or evaluate their 'spirituality'. Pfffft. Whatever, I don't trust a rabbit that leaves BOILED CHICKEN FETUSES in playful colors.

That left me pretty bored, I have to say. So I found things to do. I did my dailies (good lickle paladin, I'm two days away from Exalted with Hodir) and then decided I was going to tank something.

My very favorite PocketPriestess, a healer I may have sorta/kinda recruited for our guild, asks me if I'll tank Heroic Halls of Lightning. I have NEVER successfully done that instance, mind. Failed Loken so many times, the very thought of it makes me cry like a little girl.

But she wants to go. She's not too well geared, but I'm getting pretty decent... and... well... fine. Why not. I'm sure our DPS could use the rep and badges, too. With great reluctance, I form the group. I mean, it's just HoL, it isn't like it's going to smear me, right? I can do this. I are tank. I tank all night long, and still have stamina left over, baby!

So... we pick up our DPS. And the 700DPSrogue is the first to say "I'll go". *wince* Then the DK tank with an iffy DPS set. And then a decent warrior.

Alright. Well. This will be interesting. We set foot into the instance, make our first few trash pulls, and I start feeling more confident. This isn't so bad. Why was I crying? What was with that cold sweat? I'm a champ. I'm a pro. I'm a... oh shit, damn it DPS... DO NOT PULL THE BOSS. Stay behind me. BAD DPS. BAD. No cookie.

Wipe it up, run back, and try this again. I am a champ. I am a PRO. I am ssoooooo great. Loken doesn't scare me! Kill the trash, keep the aggro, rotation, work on keeping my GCD's used and getting used to not having hasted out gear... oh fuck. I pulled the boss.

DAMN IT, TANK. No cookie. DO NOT PULL THE BOSS WITH TRASH. BAD.

Wipe it up, run back.

Kill first boss. Finish clearing trash. Celebrate.

Wipe on slag.

Run back.

KILL slag this time, losing our healer and a DPS in the process. Res them. Keep going.

Make a bad pull, accidentally have two mobs on us. Die horribly.

Wipe it up, run back.

Kill more trash. Find second boss.

Die on second boss, because I wasn't sure how to tank him. Wipe it up, run back, bad tank.

Tank him right, but lose half the group anyway. Res people. Move into the hall, get feared into multiple mobs.

Wipe it up. Run back. Cry a little, and begin to drink.

And then, Ionar.

Ohhhh Ionar. You are a right bastard.

Long story short, Ionar makes me cry like a little girl. Rogue keeps standing with the mlee when he gets the debuff. I get the debuff, and can't move away, and we are ALL MELEE. Healer heals through this like a champ, but just can't heal through a lack of observation. Lightning spiders wipe us a few times. Absent minded (also kind of drunk) tank begins to giggle hysterically at every wipe.

Seven wipes, and I do a readycheck. "All in favor of running away with our tails tucked between our legs, click not ready"

I. Hate. Halls of Lightning.

... still don't have the heroic acheivement, and I doubt I ever well.

Still, the next day I got back on the horse. I tanked a heroic Nexus with GREAT success.

I really am enjoying tanking. It's still so new and interesting to me, that I like it better than healing... because I don't know it as well, and I learn. Healing, there just isn't that much left for me to work on. I'm going to start weaving in Hand of Salvation, but at this point, it's getting to be too easy for me.

Got my tier chest for my prot set. It was ouch at eighty badges. Still, that was the piece I really needed to throw away- a blue DK chestpiece was not a good chestpiece for me to use. Parry rating can suck it, I love mah shield block!

Oh, I also tanked Tempest Keep. Heh. THAT was... fun... sort of... I was the only tank. We wiped on the Phoenix boss until a DK tank came and helped me. Then it WAS fun. ^_^

There was MAD rp this weekend, but I won't go into details. Suffice to say, I rped a lot more than I tanked or did dailies. :)

ADD Tank

So last night, I thoroughly embarrassed myself in a Vault of Archavon 10-man run.

How does one mess up VoA? You might ask yourself this, snorting with derision at this poster's evident noobishness.

Take the following-

2 Geared and Experienced Healers
1 Not So Geared and Less Experienced Healer
2 Geared and Experienced DPS
1 Less Geared but Experienced DPS (alts)
1 Not So Geared and Less Experienced DPS (a rogue pulling 700 DPS...)
1 AFK Boomkin

And then add-

2 Brand Spanking New Tanks
-1 just specced DK tank and reached Def cap, but is unable to be on Vent
-1 ADD Spaz-o-Tron chirping frantically, "OH GOD I'VE ONLY EVER HEALED THIS, WHAT DOES IT EVEN LOOK LIKE BESIDES FLOATY GREEN BAARRRRS AND MOVE OUT OF THE ROCK SHARDS STUPID?!"

I volunteered to tank before even realizing what I was doing. "Anyone want in on a VoA run?" "Huh? Sure, but I'm tank specced!" /raid invite

Our new DK tank was primarily our Disc priest, and had -just- hit Def cap; she gets an invite too, and suddenly I find myself with a raid group depending on the both of us keep them alive. I consult with another DK tank friend over Vent, and he tells me all about how the big boss uses the MT to bash the entire raid, and someone's gotta be an OT, so, not really wanting to leave that job to the brand new DK, I cheerfully post in raid- "Okay, (tank), go pull!"

To which she responds, "I'm tanking??"

So she pulls. And I promptly steal aggro like an aggro whoring fiend. I'm all over that mob- I saw his attention briefly flash to the shaman, HIT THE TAUNT BUTTON THE DK ISN'T ON IT OMG WTF.

D'oh. Bad tankadin. BAD. No cookie for me. I apologize for stealing the new DK tank's thunder, and vow to myself to back off next time. I get assured that I'll be needed when the mob does the knockback anyway.

The next mob, I back off. I auto-swing and lay down a consecrate. I do NOT steal the MT's aggro.

He smears the ele shammy into a thin paste, and I taunt.

Res the shammy, do another (smoother) trash pull where I don't steal aggro (until I'm supposed to,) and the Boomkin still isn't back.

Now it's time for the boss. And we decide to 9-man it, because we don't feel like waiting for AFK chicken.

DK has a HELL of a time keeping aggro; the two best DPS get smeared. I keep auto-swinging, trying not to generate too much threat- and then it is MY TIME TO SHINE! He picks up the MT, begins to smash everyone with her, and I'm so excited, I hit the taunt just a second too late- rogue almost bites it. But the healers are made of win.

The MT gets put back down, the fight continues. I'm watching who this boss is focusing on, I'm not letting THAT happen again- and I see his attention shift to a healer, I panic, I hit the TAUNT HE IS MINE RAW- oh shit, that was just rock shards.

Well, I'm tanking him now- shield of righteous, play my rotation again. The DK taunts him off me, but I've got too much aggro. Now he's picking ME up and smacking miss DK around like the fish slapping skit in Monty Python.

This continues for a while; I was a good girl, and mostly resisted taunting when I saw him target someone else- ROCK SHARDS, D'oh- which ends up resulting in more death. The DPS all. Die. One. By. One. The healers all die. Suddenly, I'm there alone for about three seconds before I'm a paladin shaped smear on the ground.

Okay, so we're not nine manning this one.

And the DK wasn't in Frost Presence.

*facedesk*

FINE. We PuG a fury warrior, and it takes forever for him to get there. Buff up, DK puts on frost presence and apologizes, and it's off for round two.

This one goes smoother, but I -know- I can be faster on the pick-up. I felt absolutely embarassed when the boss got three hits in on the Ele shammy after picking up the DK. I was distracted by a thought in my head, and I didn't pick up anywhere NEAR as fast as I should've. Stupid, stupid, stupid. BAD tank! NO ADD! Grrr!

Anyway, we finally get him down... and he drops...

Hunter and mage gear.

Yay shards.